how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
