the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Do vagina's smell?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
