last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
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Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
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Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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