Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
