you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
