did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
