Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
