Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
