Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
