you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm like, not good at living.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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