I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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