Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
there's paper in my vomit.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
