she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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