dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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