You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
