My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize