Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize