a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
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