wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Randomize
