If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
