what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
