return my video game
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
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You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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