I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
