What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
So much Jack, so little girl.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
