I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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