just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
