jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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