Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
