just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
