READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
