We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
