rhymes with "ouble enetration"
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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