i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
