two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
you didnt know i had herpes?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
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