Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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