He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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