every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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