i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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