I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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