the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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