i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
