Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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