At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
