So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
