If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
I hate when you're right.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(