ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
3 2 1 whiskey
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed