I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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