Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
