Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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