i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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