blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
