Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Randomize
