It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Randomize
