just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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