I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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