porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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