he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize