Three words: puerto rican gang bang
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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