Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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