next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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